Nothing Productive

Sweet Jeezus! I've had this blog post editor in front of me for about 20mins now and I've still got nothing. I did have a few scraps of ideas but by the time I got logged on, all I could think about was how many bowls of pasta and chicken I've eaten in the past 3 weeks.

I've written many times about gainning weight. I even have an article on my website. HERE

But what I'm dropping on you right now is fresh. Fresh as in, been discovered by me in the last 6 months.

1) Eating to gain weight is WAY EASIER than eating to lose fat. When eating to lose, I've never had to force feed myself bowls of rice to the point of gagging. I've never become so sick of eating that even junk food doesn't get my appetite going., Fuck... a phone call threw me off! Anyways, eating to gain weight is tough.

2) Going through "food cycles" seems to help me get through. For a while I was just raw doggin' the rice and chicken with soya sauce and hot sauce. Things started to grind to a halt. I could barely even look at a bowl of rice. Then I discovered Korean BBQ sauce. It worked wonders, I hit 5th gear again and was pounding meals like a champ. I "cycled" the Korean BBQ for about 8 weeks and then hit the wall. Can't stand it, hate the smell, the taste, the goddamn picture on the bottle.
So now I'm on a hard cycle of pasta and red sauce. It's been going down pretty good. I can even trick myself by swithcing up the shapes of the noodles. This week is bowties. Who knows until I gag at the thought of pasta.

3) Work and other isssues will try and stop you from eating. Fuck that! I take a cooler everywhere and this morning I was shoveling oatmeal into my face while training a client. You do what needs to be done. But just be aware of the pitfalls that try and take you back to skinny land.

4) I'm pretty much out of mojo now.

As always, I will attempt to spruce up my sub-par posts with entertaining videos.
I know Greg enjoys them, as I usually am greeted with a funny quote from the most recent clips.

I want to set this next one up a bit, as I've posted it on other forums and it drew some confusion. It is a parody of a Blink 182 song from a while back. It's performed by band called taintstick. Yes, I said TAINT. The members of taintstick are also the cast of the "Ellismate Show" that I enjoy listening to on Satellite radio. If you've ever followed the "Jason Ellis Show" you will thoroughly enjoy this.

Ultimate Fitness Push/Pull Meet 2009

So the 2009 version of the Ultimate Fitness Bench Press and Deadlift competition was a great success. 17 Lifters participated in the event, that was held at the Ultimate Fitness Arnprior Location.

The thing that has made the biggest impact on me is that we had 11 Ultimate Fitness members lifting in the competition. And to top it off, 8 of the 11 UF lifters were women. That's right, the ladies were out in full force. All of them for the first time in competition. Before I move onto the guys and the stats, I again just want to point out that these girls came out and didn't care whether or not they were "strong enough" for our meet or going to get beat. (which is exactly why we only had 3 guys)
Huge props to our UF ladies.

Jayne Major (Ladies Winner) 95lb bench, 225 D/L
Angie Burgess (2nd) 105 bench, 280 D/L
Tracy Alf (Tie 3rd) 120 bench, 280 D/L
Hilda Siegel (tie 3rd) 105 bench, 225 D/L
Melanie Liard 105 bench, 260 D/L
Kerri Dunsmore 85 bench, 185 D/L
Ellynne Dickson 140 bench, 175 D/L
Kirstin Martel 95 bench, 205 D/L

We had 3 UF men swing the axe on Sunday. David Droeske, Dane Blimkie and Keith Kapow. Dave and Kapowski are seasoned vets but for Dane "Vomit" Blimkie, it was the first time in a meet. The guys represented well putting up some great numbers and getting some PR's in the process. We also had 6 men visiting from outside the walls of Ultimate Fitness.
Here's how the men's side unfolded.

Raw Men

Darren Mallette (Winner) Bench 340, D/L 585
Nick Morneau (2nd) Bench 350, D/L 600
Keith Kapow (3rd) Bench 315, D/L 545
Dan MacDonald Bench 330, D/L 495
Dane Blimkie Bench 215, D/L 455
Jeremy Siegel Bench 140, D/L 235
Dave Droeske Bench 365, D/L 135

Equipped Men
Peter Wagner (winner) Bench 425, D/L 560
Scott MacDiarmid (2nd) Bench 445, D/L 455

All of the winners/placings were determined using the Wilks calculator.

Congrats to ALL the Lifters!

A Huge THANK YOU to Curd Hos, The Bench Freak at NEO-GENIXX, for sponsoring the event and providing the T-shirts and prizes. Curd also threw down a Raw double with 500lbs on the bench press. WITHOUT A WARM-UP! Rediculous.

I had a great time, thanks to all the volunteers that helped out. Shane, Brian and Sarah. (and the nameless kid we called "Florida"

I Couldn't Resist

This vid gave me a serious ab work-out, while I laughed hysterically.

Classic Chris Rock.

Dirty Word Of the Day

GRIZZLED: (griz-uhld) A bodily/muscular state of discomfort, that often requires soft tissue massage.

Usually caused by intense training or heavy lifting.

Tom trained his biceps with 14 different exercises today, his guns are grizzled.

Frank got so much action this weekend that his package is grizzled.

Watch out for that grizzled, old sea-donkey.


If you don't get grizzled up once in a while, or even once a week, you're probably not working to your full capacity. Hopefully this new dictionary type format will help you better understand the common lingo used in different training circles.

I can't help posting a another music vid. Most often, if the last song playing on the radio before I get out of the car is a good one, I pull up a youtube vid to listen to the end.
This was todays last chance qualifier.

Locked and Loaded

No, not loaded on the liquor. Loaded on adrenaline. Only a couple weeks out from OSM (Ontario's Strongest Man) The provincial qualifier for open Pro strongman.

All the training I've put in all winter has pretty much been focused on improving on my 2nd place finish at last years OSM. We now have the final details and the hotel rooms are booked. It's go time.

Training is peaking this week and will taper the week after. Timing is pretty important.

Yes, I'm rambling, because I'm FUCKING PUMPED right now.

This event is the climax point of the long hard winter of sore backs and stiff legs. Forcing downs meals that didn't taste good and giving meals that taste great.

Time to get fired up for back to back events training this Saturday and Sunday.

Bob's yer Uncle!

Hard As F++K!

This is Mark. He is not a gangbanger from South Renfrew. He's an Ultimate Fitness Bootcamper. Although you can hardly tell from this photo, he's got a badly mangled left ankle and he shows up to train with an air cast on his leg. (he trades the air cast for a sneaker to do the work-out).

This is the meaning of "getting it". He didn't let a mangled up leg take him out of the game. He simply found a way to work around it. The results he's reaping from busting ass in Bootcamp 2-3 times a week were an easy trade off for some pain and discomfort for this badass.


This is Patti. She tore her calf muscle off the bone and has some yet to be determined knee damage. (we are hoping its not torn ligaments) She, like Mark, is powering through the shit and keeping the bootcamp work-outs going. We obviously have to modify the hell out of the work-outs for her, but she still shows up, and is willing to do whatever she can. She is keeping the focus on the "Can" and not worrying about the "can't".




Where most people look to find excuses why not to train, these people have looked for ways to train around the obstacles. And I feel these efforts need to not only be applauded, but we need to learn and apply this type of commitment to our own training and lifestyle.

I also want to note, that both of these Bootcampers mangled themselves playing basketball. WTF? So the final take home message here is; Don't play basketball, and don't be a pussy when its time to train around obstacles.

Nuff Said.

4 World Records

The UF Crew was down in Toronto this past weekend so Sarah and Shane could compete in the CPO nationls (powerlifting).

This was the first time Sarah has competed in the CPO. Its a different federation than she normally lifts under, but the rules are basically the same. Especially since she was lifting RAW.

She weighed in at 66.8kg (147lbs), and was lifting in the 67.5kilo open womens class.
Here's the lifts she lifted.

Squats: 245lbs, 265lbs, 271lbs (missed the last one)
Bench: 165lbs, 175lbs, 187lbs (187 is a PR)
Deadlift: 321lbs, 335lbs, 341lbs (missed the last attempt)
Total: 787Lbs

All 3 lifts and her total are both Canadian and World Records.

Good Job Sarah! And as usual, she's not satisfied with the squat and dead, due to hitting better numbers in the gym. Now it's time to put a plan into action to get ready for the Ottawa Open in July.

Shane was competing in the 242lbs Men's open Pro class.
He Squatted: 804lbs, 860lbs, 900lbs. (The 900 was a Huge PR and also would've been a Cdn record)
His bench press didn't pan out and he missed all three attempts.

Time to re-fuckulate the carbonator Ricky. He will no doubt get the bench sorted out and be ready to go very soon.

I also want to mention a Douchenstein we call Beartrap. He's part of our strongman training group but also powerlifts with the Capital Barbell club from Ottawa.
He was also lifting in the Mens open Pro @ 242lbs. He had trouble with his squatting, which I thought he got robbed on the judgeing, but I'm not a judge. He's always whining about never getting props on the blog. I wouldn't call this props, since he bombed, but at least you got mentioned, cock-knuckles.

It was a really long meet, but was a good time. I really wish I would've entered and lifted Raw also. Lifting raw looks like a lot of fun.

If you want to lift, come out and lift at our Ultimate Fitness Push/Pull on Sunday June 14th, in Arnprior Ont. Shoot me an email for more details and to register.
paul@ultimatefitnessgyms.com

Last Song I heard before bed last night

Is it fucking good, or what! The guitar gets rediculous around the 5:40 mark.
And Yes, Ozzy is wearing eye liner, you can too, when you start biting the heads off of live birds. (send me the vid and I'll post it up)